i hope flip phones make a comeback in 2015
could you please fill out this quick survey for me?
so i was self-checking out at the grocery store and this comely stranger and I had been flirting a bit, and after they had finished checking out they went
" I DON’T HAVE FLOWERS TO GIVE YOU BUT I WISH I DID BUT HERE HAVE THIS."
AND THEY JUST GAVE ME A HEAD OF BROCCOLLI.
Guess who’s got a daaaaate
Everytime i see this i think this person looks so pretty and should be drawn in a disney style.
no one tells you that your twenties are gonna be like drinking juice straight from the jug because you have no clean cups and listening to a boy band that is not aimed at your particular demographic and filling the void with lipstick and cheap thrills
“If we don’t do something to fix the glaring inequities in this economy, the pitchforks are going to come for us. No society can sustain this kind of rising inequality. In fact, there is no example in human history where wealth accumulated like this and the pitchforks didn’t eventually come out. You show me a highly unequal society, and I will show you a police state. Or an uprising. There are no counterexamples. None. It’s not if, it’s when.”
Good on him for recognizing the flaws in the system and trying to do something about it because he’s in the position where he can do something about it.
how much do islands cost i want one
Less than a college education
what the fuck
basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”
what?? piE ? i gotta see this
ohhhh it says “piece” not “pie”
wait a second…
MAKE IT STOPAPAPFDG S
my anaconda dont
I was at main event today and when I was playing lazer tag this 10 year old boy ran up to me and told me I was ugly but I smiled and told him I thought he was very handsome and he blushed and apologized for insulting me then he protected me through the whole game and even shot his own teammates but the greatest part is that when his friend called him a traitor he rolled his eyes and turned to me and apologized for his friend being “a total noob”
i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”