this will never not be funny.
i can’t actually breathe
It looks pissed
Why Did I Do That?: A novel by me, with special guest appearances by several alcoholic beverages
"It’s really tempting not to take chances. But I don’t want to be fearful. I don’t want my tombstone to say, she hid her imperfections well on the red carpet." –Mindy Kaling
I didn’t know this origin story, but it makes me happy on so many levels.
Hearing your crush’s voice on the other end of the phone like
Ellen is the Queen of the World
HOW THE FUCK COULD SOMEONE NOT LOVE ELLEN? SHE IS THE BEST PERSON IN THIS FUCKING WORLD ILY ELLEN
Cocoon and Evolved Metallic Mechanitis Butterfly Chrysalis from Costa Rica
do you ever
do you ever just have
that one class
that one freaking class
that just depresses you when you think about it because
oh god you hate it so much
for someone who pretends to have no emotions whatsoever im really sensitive
something i hate is how in a lot of movies the ugly guy gets the hot chick but when the ugly chick gets the hot guy she has to go through a beautiful transition into a sexy woman first
IM JUST TRYING TO SPELL POMEGRANATES
just so we’re clear, i use
as gender-neutral and affectionate names
don’t forget son
What am I forgetting dad
You have forgotten who you are, and so forgotten me.